Massey the Mysterious


 * Making his a debut appearance in the UYP PSA on communications, Massey the Mysterious,

or Massey for short is one of the last Nine Eternal Beings of the Universe. He takes the form of anything powerful and has the power to change the course of human history. He currently is in exile as a World History teacher, trying to evade conflict with Dollaramu the God of Capitalism. Slowly building his empire over time, in his debut appearance Faris Khan, one of his low-life students, dares to question his wisdom due to the fault of their own failure. He complains and blames Massey for his own failures during Massey's daily hooded meditation, where he contacts the other Eternals. In response to this reason, Massey uses his lighting powers to try and knock sense into the boy, but it only causes him to complain and later die from a polio infection, which caused him severe coughing as he called out to the McGoldfish the God of Edgyness. In hopes of giving this worthless, yet small human another chance, Massey reset the timeline and allowed Faris to try again. This time Faris approach Massey with respect and maturity, and Massey respond so. Allowing them to work out the issue, without death and destruction, which Faris first sought out. Massey resides in Pasco the Field next to Moscow, a dimension he created for when he was spying on the Russians, it has become his personal headquarters and can take it anywhere with him.

Trivia

 * Massey got his name for gaining weight when he accidentally ate the universe.
 * The universe was created when Massey accidentally beat Silver Surfer in 2 minutes.
 * Massey created the Mongols to destroy Communism, but did so too early so he dumped them in China.
 * Massey created Cars 2 to destroy Communism, but it was published by Uncle Yunkle putting the 2nd world war into place.
 * Massey became a school teacher so he could hide all of his Star Wars legos from Rian Johnson in his Shrine.
 * Massey's Shrine's is his personal quarters where he holds his many bodies he uses to disguise himself.
 * Massey lives in Pasco, known for enslaving Commies.
 * Massey successful destroyed Rian Johnson during the Rebirth Pro-Choice Event storyline.
 * Massey's Cloak isn't special in any way, he just likes to where it.
 * Massey's favorite skin color is magenta.
 * Massey kills Dracula 3,000,000,000,000 every Sunday at 5.
 * Massey can solve a rubrics cube in 5 hours.
 * Massey's is the cure to cancer he just doesn't like to share his hair.